Today was a short ride of 43 kms. but there was a lot of climbing. Deepak’s aunt and uncle live here and this is where the 15 year old boy had comited suicide. His deaf and dumb mother is here and although I couldn’t yet try to communicate with her I am afraid of my emotions fliwing over. Although it would surprise Deepak’s relatives to hear it, to see her is the reason I am here.
I lost it when it was only her outside. I think she was shocked by my tears and my (culturally inappropriate) spontaneous hug. After some time I had regained my composure and she started telling me everything. It was a bitter angry outburst but I could not understand what she was trying to tell me. I felt so inadequate. She was very nervous that someone would observe her trying to communicate this with me. Unfortunately there is noone who can understand her.
With the family, Deepak’s aunt and uncle we talked about the boy’s suicide. His mother who is not allowed in the house sat outside and stared intently at me through the open door the whole time. It didn’t bother me at all. I felt goodwill from this interesting woman who seems trapped by the inability to communicate.
The family here was very kind to me and I really enjoyed my visit with them. I certainly prefer not to think anything bad about them in relation to Shyam’s suicide.
